I have to admit I'm having a very hard time adjusting to life in the US. I've applied to countless jobs and gone back and forth over the idea of returning to Korea. To be honest I never want to teach in Korea again. Nothing against Korea, it just wasn't for me. The problem is that I became too attached to Matt that life without him seems harder than it should be.
A number of things come to my mind while I'm sitting at home trying to keep busy. The biggest problem I have is trust. The thing is Matt has never done anything to make me not trust him, although there are some problems we had that instead of solving we just don't talk about. However, my own insecurities make it nearly impossible to trust any guy who's ever shown interest. This has become a serious problem because it's annoying Matt also. The problem I'm having is that I'm not sure how to address my own problems. I have friends I talk to but nothing in detail...except one really good friend in Australia. But I realize that if I don't address my own problems then it's hard to address the problems we have.
In other news I trying to keep up with my running. I usually run everyday but I'm finding it very hard to stay motivated. Hence why I run everyday, if I take one day off, it turns into two days...a week..a few months. I'm building up slowly. I try to do one 5k a week, 2 miles a few days and 1 mile some days. I have the exercise down now I just need to work on the overeating. I noticed that I eat when I'm bored. I'm not that hungry but I find myself eating all the time. So I went to the store and got a few art supplies and yarn to keep me busy. I also bought the grade school writing paper so I could work on my Farsi...we'll see how that goes.
1 ramblings:
Sounds like you are having a difficult time. I'm not sure how comfortable you would feel doing this, but I would suggest you talk to someone professional about your relationship/personal fears. It doesn't have to be an on-going thing. I have quite a few friends that sit with a therapist with very specific goals in mind and get a lot of out it. Just a thought.
Good going on the running! The great thing about that is even if you slip up with the overeating, keeping up with the exercise can help with the guilt. When I was an avid runner for awhile, I was able to keep my weight in check (even with some bad food choices) by keeping up with my running.
Good luck with the job search!
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